Lead Kindly Light

– Hasnu Mukherjee

My attempt to show our reverence and gratitude towards father Felix Raj is like a child essaying to catch a ray of sunlight in her palms. The confidence and goodness he exudes, much like day light warms and enlightens, but is impossible to comprehend. In the past three years, in course of his tenure as the president of the alumni association, we have seen SXCCAA grow from strength to strength in its achievements, networking, involvement in the matters of the college and its philanthropic activities. The president steers the association ably and yet gives the members plenty of space so that we are able to work independently under his guidance. He has given the association a go-ahead in everything. In spite of his responsibilities, he always takes time out of his pressing schedules to be present at every programme organized by us. His criticism, rare as they are, is positive and constructive.

The NSS and the SXCCAA now works together like a well oiled machine complementing each other's tasks to achieve optimal results in the various philanthropic activities. Over the past few years we have seen our tireless leader spanning continents – now in Europe, now in Singapore, now in the US. Yet the next morning he has asked, “are we ready to go”? Once I asked him, did he never suffer from jet lags? A monosyllabic “no” was the reply. After a while he started showing us photographs of snow covered roads and trees of Poland, from where he had just returned and then showed us the picture of a quaint old church, three hundred years old. Suddenly I understood, what was the real source of his sustenance. Offcourse, it is a calm, which can come from within a soul, which is in perfect harmony with the divine.

It is his faith in each member as the president that has enabled us to spread out our wings and fly. We have been able to open chapters in Bangkok, Dubai, London and are now eyeing Bangladesh and the US. Beyond Boundaries has now become an important event in the calendar of every global Xaverian. Our president has helped us to realise the meaning of “Nihil Ultra” … that nothing is beyond us because we are Xaverians nurtured amidst strong Jesuit values.

A doctorate in economics and an acknowledged administrator what surprises me is that his vocabulary consists of simple, terse, yet, to the discerning ear “loaded” words. Perhaps he does not realize how much positive energy he radiates with each “sure”,” why not”, “we shall do that” that he utters. I want to tell him that being a teacher for the past fourteen years myself, I know the power of these simple words. They bring out the best Xaverians in us.

Our President like a competent captain has calmed the unrest that there was in the association  and by his own example he has taught each member to do whatever we can for the alma mater to look beyond our egos and work to give back something to the institution which has given us so much.

Rev. father Dr. J.Felix Raj, SJ could have taught us to share the praise for every achievement and take the blame for our shortcomings. Now we work in harmony like the numerous strings in a lute to give rise to music, not chaotic noise.

As a primary school teacher, a mother and a Xaverian, there is a little incident that I must share. For through it, I have learned to value little things and not trash away anything – who knows it might be priceless to someone else. Once, after a get together, I found my daughter hunting frantically for her “hello kitty” purse and clips. I rebuked her for her carelessness and forgot about it. Almost a month later, when I went to college for some work, I was informed that father had wanted to see me. As I climbed the stairs to his office, my heart pounding in nervousness, I was sure that everybody could hear it. Father walked up to me and handed over a carry bag and dismissed me with a polite “OK”. Once outside his office I peered into the bag to find my six year old's precious possessions, kept securely. It is perhaps this blend of tender thoughtfulness and the sharp eye for detail that gives his personality the magnitude it has.

Our president has been a true teacher, a gardener to us, who plants the seed, waters and nurtures it and then watches it grow and expand proudly. He lets it grow on its own, never hindering of forcing it to grow at his will and yet keeping a hawk's eye on the fence of moral values. This is what allows each member to reach out for the sun and grow.

He has reactivated the women's forum, expanded the college, given the association an important position in matters of the college and has helped us go global. We Xaverians are now eagerly waiting to follow him as he takes the institution to even greater heights by becoming the first Jesuit University of India.

Among a kaleidoscope of images that I have of our President, one will always have a special place in my heart. This Christmas, I was going through a particularly low phase, trying to find some reason behind my relations and social activities. It was as if, I was groping in the dark for some sign. We were all sitting and talking at the end of our annual reunion dinner. A child had made an untidy Christmas tree for father and presented it to him almost like a trophy that evening. She thought it was lying forgotten in a corner but to my surprise, when father got up to leave for the cloister, he actually asked one of our friends to bring him that Christmas tree. My mind was filled with reverence as I watched a Jesuit priest who had dedicated his life to serve humanity, at once amongst us and yet detached, related to all, but not quiet belonging. He is perhaps able to relate only to things given to him unconditionally and innocently.

I watched the receding figure in the customary cassock striding across the darkness holding the little Christmas tree in his hands … did the stars shimmer brighter? Did I hear bells ring? Did I get the sign I needed to carry my burden? I don't know. But lines from a childhood poem drifted past my mind as I returned home that night:

“Love came down at Christmas:

Love lovely, love divine,

Hope was born on Christmas:

The angels and stars gave the Signs!”